The Kuno's Madness, or the Birth of MalletSama
by Gryphnwng
Summary: It was a beautiful day outside when Kasumi forced Akane outside to play, and she met the Kuno's for the first time...


Author: Gryphnwng

Title: The Kuno's Madness, or, Birth of Mallet-Sama

Rating: ummm…PG, for just a _touch_ of violence…winks

Disclaimer: Do I look Japanese, lil' Irish girl that I am? Sooo not mine. :-P

It was a rather lovely day in the Nerima District. Birds were singing outside, the sky was blue, and the temperature was perfect. Many children were outside at the various parks, laughing and playing. A rather picturesque scene, wouldn't you agree?

However, there was one young girl who was inside on this day, watching television in the family room of her house. This little girls name was Akane Tendo, and she did not want to be outside. You see, her mother had passed away recently, and it was her mother who always used to take her out to play, and the idea of going without her, well, poor little Akane just couldn't bare it. Thus, she stayed indoors. Now on this particular day, she found herself watching a rather…er…_risqué_… soap opera. Being that she was only about six or so, she couldn't really understand most of it, but it was very entertaining! One of the ladies seemed very fond of calling the men on the show perverts, and slapping them. Akane didn't know what a pervert was, but it was funny to see them slapped!

Akane's oldest sister, Kasumi, wandered in from the kitchen where she was starting the preparations for dinner, and happened to catch a glance of what Akane was watching.

"Oh my! That is not a proper show for a young girl to watch, Akane! Why don't you go outside, it is very nice out."

"But, Kasumi…!"

"Oh Akane, it really is nice out, you should go and play with some nice children your age. I'll come get you for dinner, and later we can watch some television together, okay?" Kasumi reached past Akane and switched the television off, and gently ushered the young girl to her feet and to the door."

"Oh, all right Kasumi. Promise you'll watch later though?" Akane lingered in the door, toeing on her little shoes, looking up at her big sister with the biggest, sweetest, puppy dog eyes she could.

"I promise sweetie. Now go and play! Have fun!" She stood in the doorway, watching her little sister scuff her feet as she wandered down the lane that led to the nearest park. Kasumi sighed, worried slightly about the withdrawn state of her youngest sister. She had always had the biggest smile, and such a sweet laugh. It was rarely heard now, though, since their mother had passed. Hopefully, she would cheer up a little after playing on such a nice day. But, wishful thinking wouldn't get the dinner cooked.

The play park was empty, but that didn't bother young Tatewaki Kuno much. After all, he still had his Daddy and his adorable little sister Kodachi to play with. They were a very close family, and Tatewaki loved playing with his little sister. She was a very sweet little girl, and just starting martial arts training with him and his Daddy.

All three of them were having a grand ol' time on the slides when a little girl of about Kodachi's age appeared at the play parks entrance, looking around a little shyly. Being the brave, strong, courteous boy he was raised to be, Tatewaki immediately ran over to the little girl to introduce himself and invite her to play with him and his family.

As she reached the entrance to the play park, Akane heard the happy shouts of some children, and an older male voice, coming from within. Overcome with a bout of shyness, she stopped at the entrance and peeped in, watching them play. 'I wish daddy would play with me like that…' she thought. Her daddy didn't really do anything now, just sat in whatever room he happened to be in and either stared into space, or cried. It made her sad and a little angry too. Even if Mommy was with the angels, he still had her and her sisters! In fact, a lot of things made Akane angry lately, but there wasn't anything she could really do about it…

She was startled out of her thoughts by one of the children who had been playing. He was a tall young boy, with curly brown hair and a big smile. He grinned again, and spoke.

"Hi! My names Kuno Tatewaki, and that's my daddy and little sister, Kodachi. What's your name? Would you like to come play with us? Its loads more fun playing in a big group! Plus my daddy's real strong; he can push a swing real high!"

'Whoa…he talks fast…' Akane blinked, thinking it over. She hadn't been pushed on a swing in ages. "Ummm, ok. My names Tendo Akane, by the way. Nice to meet you Tatewaki." She smiled shyly, following the gregarious boy to the slides

They spent the next hour having a pretty good time, playing on the slide and see-saw, and running around like children often do. It wasn't until they came to the swings that a problem occurred. You see, Akane still remembered the show he had watched earlier that day, with the funny lady who would slap men and call them perverts if they touched her tushy. Being the impressionable young lady, she thought that this was proper behavior. Now, I'm sure you readers realize that in order to push someone on a swing, there is going to be some touching of that particular part of anatomy. Too bad for the Kuno's…

It was decided that Tatewaki would push Akane on the swing first, while Daddy Kuno got Kodachi started on her. All went well until Tatewaki inadvertently placed his hands, not on the swings seat, but young Akane's bottom.

"PERVERT!" She leapt from the swing, and when she landed, she whirled to face the rather bewildered and surprised Tatewaki. It was a rather cathartic experience, yelling like that, so she did it again.

"PERVERT! You touched me!" She clenched her fist and advanced on the startled boy. She had thought to slap him too, but it didn't seem enough. After all, if the lady from the television had so much fun with just a slap, maybe it would be even better with something bigger. At least, this was Akane's reasoning. From her clenched fist something began to take shape. With a sudden "POP" there was a mallet where previously nothing had been.

Akane was delighted! This would be so much more fun then a slap! With another gleeful shout of "PERVERT!" she swung Mallet-Sama hard as she could at the boy, who then became the first launched object of Akane's career.

You can imagine that Kodachi and Daddy Kuno were not too pleased with this. Kodachi adored her big brother, and this little girl just hit him! She ran at Akane, intended to put some of the training she had just started to learn to use, when she, too, was launched into LEO (Low Earth Orbit).

Akane was having fun now. Kasumi was right after all! Playing outside with other kids really was nicer then television. Daddy Kuno wasn't of the same opinion though. He had just seen this small blue haired girl whop his children with a giant mallet. He was mad! But, he was also a nice man, so he tried to restrain her gently, he didn't want to hurt the little girl after all. Akane was having none of that though. As Daddy Kuno tried to grab her arms, she swung Mallet-Sama one last time, and true to form, Daddy Kuno joined his son and daughter in LEO.

Blinking, Akane looked around the park. It was quite empty now, and all she could hear was the twittering of birds and one the swings squeaking gently. Until…

"Akane! Time for dinner!" Ahhh yes. Music to Akane's ears. She was quite hungry now, having worked up quite the appetite playing with the Kuno's. She happily skipped out of the park, Mallet-Sama disappearing back into the sub-space pocket from which it had come.

That evening Kasumi was pleased to note that the happy smile was back on Akane's face, and the twinkle in her eyes. Too bad she had no idea the exact reason for their being. We shall just let her have her precious illusions for awhile longer, shall we?

We can't forget about the Kuno's, now can we? Don't worry; they dropped out of LEO right in front of a hospital, where they were immediately taken in. Of course, they never really were quite the same when they woke up though. Tatewaki became obsessed with little Akane, and was determined that he would date her. Daddy Kuno took off for Hawaii, muttering something about keiki's….and Kodachi…well, she just became rather unhinged. But all that I'm sure you will find out about all that later. For now, my tale is done.


End file.
